Sunday, March 27, 2011

I hate waiting!!!!!!

So this will probably be an incredibly short post, but I am just so anxious to get this new chapter in our lives going! This whole sitting here waiting thing. Waiting to get a hard copy of orders, waiting to see what schools I will be able to do once the G.I. Bill changes, waiting to do our house hunting, and just trying to make it out of here alive is starting to get to me. Plus I just have spring/cabin fever like nothing else right now, and work is starting to pick up it's spring/summer schedule which means we work ridiculous hours and for no apparent reason other than to help make "certain people" look good on their eval.  Plus, I am just itching to go somewhere, to do something, to break out of this rut we are stuck in. Jimmy and I have both started finding ways to help us get through the week; dance for me, the gun range for him. But it's just a slight variation to the everyday dredge we feel constantly. Don't get me wrong, we are both doing so much better than we were just a couple months ago, but honestly I feel like Oklahoma is just one big waiting room. It doesnt feel like people LIVE here, they merely exist. And that is a very sad feeling. I desire to live again, really live. To feel fulfilled and joyful everyday, to feel something everyday. Not just this numbness, the constant feeling like i'm supposed to be doing, watching out for somehing. Anyone else going through this right now? I'm not going crazy am I?

Well, maybe once the sun comes back out I will start feeling better. I will miss the sun once we're in WA that's for sure, and the heat lol.

Blessings to all!

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