That pretty much sums it up. Just saw a documentary called "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead." It followed an Aussie named Joe who had a severe autoimmune disorder wherein his brain released histamines in response to non-histamatic situations such as shaking someone's hand. He traveled to America and started a juice fast for 60 days. At first I was in disbelief that someone could get all their nutrients this way. I had to face palm myself. All it was, was a vegan diet without external protien in liquid form. Perfectly healthy, and probably more satisfying than a diet of burgers, fries and starch. It was amazing to watch his transformation in a mere 2 months. He dropped 56lbs in 60 days, and met someone in America with this same disease who he also inspired to make the same changes. It really got me thinking about how much we put into our bodies that is just so incredibly unhealthy. Even people who are on high protien diets aren't getting the macrobiotic nutrients that they need, but getting more of the micronutrients that just sit in the body and hold toxins. I don't know if I could do a 60 day or even 30 days but am thinking about a 10 "reboot" as they call it to cleanse and detox the body. Hmmmmmmm......things to ponder. Because I like food. Really like food. I have an emotional affair with food. I'll let you guys know.
Anyway this documentary was funny, real and to the core. I reccomend checking it out. "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. Seriously, it's good shit :)
Peace y'all.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Nature is the shit :)
It's been so nice every morning to open my blinds and see my woods outside. A couple weeks ago I got a nice suprise from Mother Nature. Two small daffodil plants found their way onto my stairs, on the same step framing it. I shit you not. It's awesome how they sprouted themselves :)
Isn't nature cool? :)
Isn't nature cool? :)
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Well this has been fun :/
After having sinus colds/infections for the past month, I finally went to be seen at medical last week. No biggie, was given some antibiotics and nasal spray, and the Doc noticed my thyroids were swollen, told me to keep an eye on it and sent me on my way. That Saturday night I couldn't sleep (like normal) so started looking up goiters, and thyroids. Reading the list of symptoms I had to smack myself on the head. I've had about 95% of these for about 3 years now and just thought it was stress. Which in all due respect can actually be one of the main causes of hypothyroidism if stress is sustained and chronic for a long period of time (can anyone say VQ-3?). As I kept reading about it, what it can lead to and what it does to your life I became this almost maniacal split of relief and anger. Anger that I had been trying to get seen to figure out what was wrong with me and the doctors besides telling me that my cholesterol was high told me I just needed to de-stress or that there was nothing wrong with me. That I was just having an anxiety attack. Then the other part of me, the big part, was just relieved to finally realize that I wasn't insane, that there was actually something going on with me that was medically associated and not just the daily stress of life. So have made an appointment to get thyroids checked and having been obsessively reading everything I can on hypothyroidism, Hashimoto's disease, and anything else that could remotely be related to it. This time when I go to the doctor I will be armed with information and not let them tell me that anything is within a "normal" range when I know it isn't. When I've had debilitating fatigue, hair loss, weight gain, inability to sleep and a whole host of other problems, something is wrong. Thankfully my PCM here at Whidbey and I get along great and so I'm hoping if I go in with all the knowledge and a slew of tests to just knock out of the way he will be on board with me.
Unfortunately along with the relief of finding all this out, it's been very hard to motivate myself to do anything weight wise. I know deep in my heart that I still need to eat healthy and exercise, but there's always that little part of my brain that just keeps saying "Why even bother? You know it's not going to help anything until you get seen and on some medication. There's no point." And it's very hard to fight that one off, especially when you keep getting sick and it seems all you can do is sleep all day long. But I'm trying, none of it seems to help, but I know it's better than do nothing. So until we figure this out I guess I will just try to ignore the fact that it's not ok for me to be this chronically exhausted and keep telling myself it's normal. But it's not, and thank God for it.
I cannot wait to get my life back.
Peace y'all
Unfortunately along with the relief of finding all this out, it's been very hard to motivate myself to do anything weight wise. I know deep in my heart that I still need to eat healthy and exercise, but there's always that little part of my brain that just keeps saying "Why even bother? You know it's not going to help anything until you get seen and on some medication. There's no point." And it's very hard to fight that one off, especially when you keep getting sick and it seems all you can do is sleep all day long. But I'm trying, none of it seems to help, but I know it's better than do nothing. So until we figure this out I guess I will just try to ignore the fact that it's not ok for me to be this chronically exhausted and keep telling myself it's normal. But it's not, and thank God for it.
I cannot wait to get my life back.
Peace y'all
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Side affects of Doula-hood and the Ticking Time Bomb
*Authors Disclaimer: All topics covered in this blog that involve my marriage and any decisions within are, always have been, and will be discussed with significant other. I do not post anything that makes it seem as though I am going behind his back. In other words, I'm not telling you anything I wouldn't tell him!
I hate being 26. I'm so much closer to 30, my body is starting to break and slow down, and my damn biological clock has kicked into overdrive. That is the worst. Going from being the person who never wanted anything to do with children, to now going through times where I ache to experience pregnancy and childbirth. And it sometimes doesn't help when your main ambition in life is to attend as many births as possible as a doula because it is in your blood, and to eventually become a midwife. My husband and I have discussed the possibilities of why it has suddenly kicked in with such a vengeance, and have come up with possible solutions. The most obvious thing is the hormonal and biological changes within my evolving body. The other solution we have come up with is now I have time to slow down, my body is coming out of survival mode from my last command, and my priorities have been able to shift to what is important to me now. And on my own personal side, I think that I have finally had the time to really fall in love with my husband and just want to create an extension of that love I have with and for him. Silly girl, I know :)
A odd "quirkiness" of being a doula is I have set about dreaming of my birth much in the way most girls dream and plan their weddings. I never worried too much about the wedding until I was faced with it, then dealt with it, but ever since becoming a doula and studying as much as I do I dream away with the ideal setting, how I would like to proceed with my labor and birth, even down to the last little details of whether I would prefer to wear a long gown or t-shirt to birth since I am a little on the shy and modest side, or if I won't care and will go au natural while moving and bathing to bring about my little one. It is quite interesting to me that I would relish such details about my birth considering that the husband and I are still only in the discussion stages of having a baby, and while are down to terms of "a year or two" instead of "sometime" we really haven't made much more progress. But any progress is progress. As we used to say in the Navy, "it is what it is." I have even toyed with the idea of starting a "baby hope box" and start filling it with things now so that when it comes time, whenever God decides that is, we already have some things put aside. And maybe it will also give me something tangible to hold onto while awaiting the choice of my little one to grace us with their Divine presence either through birth or adoption.
In the meantime, I will continue to relish attending births and reveling in the glow and beautiful energy of a momma birthing, helping her plan and learn along the way to her own sacred birth journey. Which in turn is always helping me learn about my own sacred feminism, the power of being a woman, and the holiness that is always the cycle of Divine, death and rebirth at it's greatest.
Peace y'all.
I hate being 26. I'm so much closer to 30, my body is starting to break and slow down, and my damn biological clock has kicked into overdrive. That is the worst. Going from being the person who never wanted anything to do with children, to now going through times where I ache to experience pregnancy and childbirth. And it sometimes doesn't help when your main ambition in life is to attend as many births as possible as a doula because it is in your blood, and to eventually become a midwife. My husband and I have discussed the possibilities of why it has suddenly kicked in with such a vengeance, and have come up with possible solutions. The most obvious thing is the hormonal and biological changes within my evolving body. The other solution we have come up with is now I have time to slow down, my body is coming out of survival mode from my last command, and my priorities have been able to shift to what is important to me now. And on my own personal side, I think that I have finally had the time to really fall in love with my husband and just want to create an extension of that love I have with and for him. Silly girl, I know :)
A odd "quirkiness" of being a doula is I have set about dreaming of my birth much in the way most girls dream and plan their weddings. I never worried too much about the wedding until I was faced with it, then dealt with it, but ever since becoming a doula and studying as much as I do I dream away with the ideal setting, how I would like to proceed with my labor and birth, even down to the last little details of whether I would prefer to wear a long gown or t-shirt to birth since I am a little on the shy and modest side, or if I won't care and will go au natural while moving and bathing to bring about my little one. It is quite interesting to me that I would relish such details about my birth considering that the husband and I are still only in the discussion stages of having a baby, and while are down to terms of "a year or two" instead of "sometime" we really haven't made much more progress. But any progress is progress. As we used to say in the Navy, "it is what it is." I have even toyed with the idea of starting a "baby hope box" and start filling it with things now so that when it comes time, whenever God decides that is, we already have some things put aside. And maybe it will also give me something tangible to hold onto while awaiting the choice of my little one to grace us with their Divine presence either through birth or adoption.
In the meantime, I will continue to relish attending births and reveling in the glow and beautiful energy of a momma birthing, helping her plan and learn along the way to her own sacred birth journey. Which in turn is always helping me learn about my own sacred feminism, the power of being a woman, and the holiness that is always the cycle of Divine, death and rebirth at it's greatest.
Peace y'all.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Basics on Starting a Meal Plan
I know everyone out there is trying to stretch their dollars these days, and when it comes to the grocery bill, we are squeezing blood out of every penny! As outlined in former posts, I am definitely NOT a couponer, I can barely remember to look at a stores circular. But, I am a meal planner. And that alone has saved us soooo much money it's ridiculous. In case you haven't really heard about meal planning before, or you've thought about it but couldn't decide how to get it in motion I've laid out a few basics that you can build on and make as extensive as you like. Try it just for a month and see how much sanity and money you save!
Start by making a meal plan for just one or two weeks. I personally like to just make meal plans for dinner and keep simple things for other meals on hand like cereal, sandwhich and salad items, bread milk and eggs. You can either plan out a different meal for every day of the week, or do like I do and plan out only 3 or 4 meals that can double as leftovers or freezing and have simple things like vegetables and rice or chicken and salad on a day with no meal plan or if you don't want leftovers.
Take stock of your kitchen and pantry after you have made your meal plan and see what you already have, better yet take stock before and see what you can make with what you have and shorten your shopping list even more! Make sure to only put exactly what you need, resist the urge to get the 'goody' food, at least for the first 2 weeks to get a sense of how much you save. When shopping make sure to eat before hand and try to go when you aren't super rushed so you aren't tempted to buy a lot of frozen crap which is terrible for you. Stick exactly to your list, and use coupons, if applicable!
Remember also, meal plans are just guidelines, you don't have to stick with it exactly if you don't feel like having what is on the plan for dinner that night switch it out, or have a stand in meal. We did this one time and ended up pushing back our shopping by 2 1/2 weeks lol! After you get comfortable with it, you can start planning meals around what's on sale in the circulars as well as in the pantry, and doubled with coupons who knows how much you guys can save! I know I know, yes I'm a part-time housewife so this is partly my life. But my husband and I have been marveling that we can actually keep a decent budget doing this when back in Oklahoma we were spending upwards $200 every 1 1/2-2 weeks for just the two of us! Now we are spending on average between $85-$105 every 1 1/2-3 weeks!!!! And that's without couponing or planning around the circulars! So get to it, try it out and let me know how it works out for you! I recommend www.mealsmatter.org to get you started, it's free, you can browse recipes, start a cookbook, transfer meals to shopping lists and read articles on everything from cooking techniques to healthy living! Get to it and good luck!
Peace y'all!
Start by making a meal plan for just one or two weeks. I personally like to just make meal plans for dinner and keep simple things for other meals on hand like cereal, sandwhich and salad items, bread milk and eggs. You can either plan out a different meal for every day of the week, or do like I do and plan out only 3 or 4 meals that can double as leftovers or freezing and have simple things like vegetables and rice or chicken and salad on a day with no meal plan or if you don't want leftovers.
Take stock of your kitchen and pantry after you have made your meal plan and see what you already have, better yet take stock before and see what you can make with what you have and shorten your shopping list even more! Make sure to only put exactly what you need, resist the urge to get the 'goody' food, at least for the first 2 weeks to get a sense of how much you save. When shopping make sure to eat before hand and try to go when you aren't super rushed so you aren't tempted to buy a lot of frozen crap which is terrible for you. Stick exactly to your list, and use coupons, if applicable!
Remember also, meal plans are just guidelines, you don't have to stick with it exactly if you don't feel like having what is on the plan for dinner that night switch it out, or have a stand in meal. We did this one time and ended up pushing back our shopping by 2 1/2 weeks lol! After you get comfortable with it, you can start planning meals around what's on sale in the circulars as well as in the pantry, and doubled with coupons who knows how much you guys can save! I know I know, yes I'm a part-time housewife so this is partly my life. But my husband and I have been marveling that we can actually keep a decent budget doing this when back in Oklahoma we were spending upwards $200 every 1 1/2-2 weeks for just the two of us! Now we are spending on average between $85-$105 every 1 1/2-3 weeks!!!! And that's without couponing or planning around the circulars! So get to it, try it out and let me know how it works out for you! I recommend www.mealsmatter.org to get you started, it's free, you can browse recipes, start a cookbook, transfer meals to shopping lists and read articles on everything from cooking techniques to healthy living! Get to it and good luck!Peace y'all!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Aaannd Lessons from Lent Start for Me
As we all know I wrote at the begining of Lent about how I was going to practice it this year. HA! Almost all of it went out the window I am sorry to report. Broke Lent fasting the 2nd week in when I started getting sick and the only thing that would help my throat was popcicles and ice cream. And then I kept getting sick. So yah any and all fasting had gone out the window, and I was pretty upset with myself. Next I had talked about planning on spending more time in nature alone with God. Two things I forgot; this is Washington State, and it's March....'nuff said. Rain. Lots of Rain. So I have been getting pretty frusterated with how this Lenton season has been going for me. Instead of contempating about my role in life and connecting with God, I have been asking "why" a lot. Why are you letting me get sick so much. Please make it go away, I can't handle this anymore. Why won't You get rid of this shit!? You guys get the idea. I had been feeling that this Lent was such a failure just because things weren't going easily and I wasn't recieving Divine messages at all times of day and night. Just nightmares, lots of nightmares.
So this past weekend was the sickest I have been in a long time. Fever for 2-3 days straight, ear infection, couldn't walk straight, accidentally overdosed on medication and lost most control of motor functions and was high as hell for two days. My husband wanted to take me to the ER to get me detoxed and some antibiotics because of the fever. My stubborn ass refused. Go figure. By Sunday I was able to halfway walk and decided to take a bath finally. I don't know about you guys but I always do my best thinking when I'm in the shower or the bath. I'm also a girl and like to light candles :) I had a new candle called butterfly which had a saying on it's holder wrapper.
"Butterfly. Transformation, New Beginnings. A new life awaits you, let go of anything that no longer serves you. You are a being of beauty, light and grace. Fly!"
Pretty strong and accurate words that I needed in my life. I lit the candle put my spirit animal figures of cat and whale next to it which represent intuition, connecting with the other side, calmness, new beginnings. I started repeating the mantra on the holder of the candle until I put myself into a meditative state and let go. A lot of things hit me that night. The biggest one was that I needed to let go of anger and hurt that I am holding towards my father. I won't go into details, but just know that he hurt our family and tore us apart recently. I know that I need to forgive him though. Not for him, not because any religious figure "demands" that I do, but for ME. It's not well for me to hold onto negativity, it will only affect my life negativily. So for my own peace, I need to forgive him, and to bring my mother back into my life. Unwittingly I have made her feel that she had to choose sides, and she chose his. So strictly for me and to bring my mother back I will extend the olive branch.
The other lesson was when my dog got bit by the neighbours dog. It was so deep that we decided to take her in to the emergency vet and pay an exorbant amount to get her seen and treated after hours. The neighbours were nice enough to pay for our vet bill and all is well thankfully! And it hit me so suddenly with this one. My aunt who is a very wise person always says that our animals are always trying to tell us things. And this one was so obvious. I was more than willing to take my little girl to get a minor wound stiched up late at night no matter the cost, but not willing to call medical to make an appointment so that I would stop being sick for weeks on end. Face, palm. I. Am. An idiot. So I am off in a couple hours to get seen finally. Sigh.
But at least the lessons and insights have started, just not how I would have prefered. But isn't being outside of your comfort zone what Lent is all about?
Peace y'all!
So this past weekend was the sickest I have been in a long time. Fever for 2-3 days straight, ear infection, couldn't walk straight, accidentally overdosed on medication and lost most control of motor functions and was high as hell for two days. My husband wanted to take me to the ER to get me detoxed and some antibiotics because of the fever. My stubborn ass refused. Go figure. By Sunday I was able to halfway walk and decided to take a bath finally. I don't know about you guys but I always do my best thinking when I'm in the shower or the bath. I'm also a girl and like to light candles :) I had a new candle called butterfly which had a saying on it's holder wrapper.
"Butterfly. Transformation, New Beginnings. A new life awaits you, let go of anything that no longer serves you. You are a being of beauty, light and grace. Fly!"
Pretty strong and accurate words that I needed in my life. I lit the candle put my spirit animal figures of cat and whale next to it which represent intuition, connecting with the other side, calmness, new beginnings. I started repeating the mantra on the holder of the candle until I put myself into a meditative state and let go. A lot of things hit me that night. The biggest one was that I needed to let go of anger and hurt that I am holding towards my father. I won't go into details, but just know that he hurt our family and tore us apart recently. I know that I need to forgive him though. Not for him, not because any religious figure "demands" that I do, but for ME. It's not well for me to hold onto negativity, it will only affect my life negativily. So for my own peace, I need to forgive him, and to bring my mother back into my life. Unwittingly I have made her feel that she had to choose sides, and she chose his. So strictly for me and to bring my mother back I will extend the olive branch.
The other lesson was when my dog got bit by the neighbours dog. It was so deep that we decided to take her in to the emergency vet and pay an exorbant amount to get her seen and treated after hours. The neighbours were nice enough to pay for our vet bill and all is well thankfully! And it hit me so suddenly with this one. My aunt who is a very wise person always says that our animals are always trying to tell us things. And this one was so obvious. I was more than willing to take my little girl to get a minor wound stiched up late at night no matter the cost, but not willing to call medical to make an appointment so that I would stop being sick for weeks on end. Face, palm. I. Am. An idiot. So I am off in a couple hours to get seen finally. Sigh.
But at least the lessons and insights have started, just not how I would have prefered. But isn't being outside of your comfort zone what Lent is all about?
Peace y'all!
Monday, March 12, 2012
to the maker of colds
To the maker of colds...
I dislike you. I dislike that for three weeks you have made me uncomfortable and out of sorts. That I have had a fever 3 different times and an ear infection to boot. I dislike that you made me feel so miserable that I overdosed on medication by accident and am still trying to get it all out of my system 2 days later. You are a terrible being. My husband has enough on his plate without having to give up more of his time to take care of me as well, and I need to work. I think you have caused enough problems for everyone, so I will thank you to kindly pack up your belongings and leave.
With much compassion while ushering you out,
Christen.
I dislike you. I dislike that for three weeks you have made me uncomfortable and out of sorts. That I have had a fever 3 different times and an ear infection to boot. I dislike that you made me feel so miserable that I overdosed on medication by accident and am still trying to get it all out of my system 2 days later. You are a terrible being. My husband has enough on his plate without having to give up more of his time to take care of me as well, and I need to work. I think you have caused enough problems for everyone, so I will thank you to kindly pack up your belongings and leave.
With much compassion while ushering you out,
Christen.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
God I love this place!!
I am so happy up here! I wish I could even begin to describe the happiness and the feeling of being fulfilled that I experience up here! I mean, I get to live by not one, but two mountain ranges, and the ocean! I get to do small town living again, and while it's been an adjustment to not have everything at my disposal like I used to, it's such a refreshing and slower pace of life. I see people running, walking and biking everywhere. I am finding myself spending more time outside, even if its just to sit in the sun while the pup plays in the woods and runs laps around the property. I do feel like a bum since it's sunny out and I'm not out walking or running, but with this chest cold I've got going on, I just don't think it's a good idea lol.
Our house is in the process of getting the final fixes on it done, then we can finally start putting our house in order. And it's about damm time! So excited to be able to make the house a home and feel that we are finally settled in :)
On another up note, I got into all of my required classes that I needed this quarter, my husband has been handing out my doula cards, I have been contacted by so many people to babysit, I've actually been considering closing up shop on the sites I'm advertised on, and I get to spend time twice a week with one of the sweetest boys in the world, my son-rise kid :) The husband and I are so comfortable and cozy that it hasn't even been bothering us that we haven't been going out drinking lately. The pup drives us crazy with wanting attention like normal, but even she is calm because she gets so much excersise up here and fresh air.
Pretty much, I am in love with my life right now. Projects coming up soon with pictures, redoing the closet and porch and starting the garden!
Peace y'all!
Our house is in the process of getting the final fixes on it done, then we can finally start putting our house in order. And it's about damm time! So excited to be able to make the house a home and feel that we are finally settled in :)
On another up note, I got into all of my required classes that I needed this quarter, my husband has been handing out my doula cards, I have been contacted by so many people to babysit, I've actually been considering closing up shop on the sites I'm advertised on, and I get to spend time twice a week with one of the sweetest boys in the world, my son-rise kid :) The husband and I are so comfortable and cozy that it hasn't even been bothering us that we haven't been going out drinking lately. The pup drives us crazy with wanting attention like normal, but even she is calm because she gets so much excersise up here and fresh air.
Pretty much, I am in love with my life right now. Projects coming up soon with pictures, redoing the closet and porch and starting the garden!
Peace y'all!
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